What is REAL love NOT?

Love, ah the famous word that gets floated around and yet we are all baffled by it. However, I am here to decipher what love isn’t in romantic relationships

As we seem to get confused as to what love is by what we’ve been told in the past by others who also realize what we thought was love, in fact was NOT as the relationship continued…

Look out for the below especially when initially dating as LOVE is NOT:

• being in a love haze where you feel all fuzzy and think that your significant other is perfection

• painful or hurtful but a constant repair and fix of anything each other may or may not have been aware of that caused this feeling, it should alleviate negative emotions – an antidote to pain

• feeling overwhelming anxiousness, nervousness or unsafe around the person at any time especially the start

• heart palpitations or increased stress levels including butterfly feelings in your stomach

• just the liking of the surface level of what you see but plays a major part in developing love for someone

• being clingy and constantly have to be in the presence of the other person

• always a constant state of a higher feeling of happiness

• dismissing a need of a mutual understanding of each other

• having to stalk or keep tabs on them due to both not making each other feel secure in the relationship

• love bombing someone to lure them into a romantic relationship then to become your true damaged or broken self as you haven’t recovered from your own pain but pass it onto the next person you are close to

• constant domination or control to get your way only without thoughtfulness of the other person’s needs and wants

• about being right all the time or pretending to be

• the feeling of becoming stuck with each other, i.e. only giving love when the other feels down but knocking them when they feel good

• suppressing the other person on how they feel constantly even if upset or angry

• making each other jealous, indirectly or directly i.e. texting the other guy or girl and mentioning it to make your S.O. jealous

• doing things behind their backs deliberately or intentionally that could hurt them

• being unable to express your worries, insecurities or past pains to your S.O. without being negatively judged, put down or made to feel unworthy

• hiding who you are or the things unique to you as in things like walking around the house with no underwear or making a food a certain way before eating it

• being unable to express feelings of how things are between you so things cannot move forward with good intent

• making the other person feel like they are not enough or good enough for you

• a competition with each other

• learning each other’s weaknesses or vulnerabilities then to knock the other down further from them

• saying something and agree but then becoming unreliable as you don’t follow through with actions

• deceit, manipulation or fooling someone into something you are not to pretend to be aligned with the other person

• holding onto past mistakes of each other after having been through a repair and using them against each other in the present or future

• communicating needs or wants with each other and ignoring each other or dismissing them

The above can happen in a romantic relationship when we don’t truly love ourselves so we cannot love the other so close to us.

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Pic Cred: Emmanuel Phaeton