What does it feel like to be in a romantic relationship with a Covert Narcissistic Personality Disordered person? [Including Book Recommendation]
What does it feel like to be in a romantic relationship with a Covert Narcissistic Personality Disordered person? [Including Book Recommendation]
It feels like there's something off but you can't put your finger on it in the beginning stage of the romantic relationship, then the manipulation onwards causes you to stay from the constant switch between nice and abusive actions and words
It's like having to do battle every day with a virus such as Covid-19 within your home, they are always chipping away at you in subtle or passive aggressive ways to put you down and make you feel weak
It's like lifting a (insert weight here) 80 kg person's emotionally weight as they are a child inside still and cannot handle the accountability of their own insecurities or mistakes
It's like a blanket slowly covering your breathing space so you feel constantly suffocated which in turn goes from anxiety to low mood to a depression
It feels like your joy and life force is being stolen from you
That you cannot trust anything they say as it was all a lie and deceit to begin with for them as well as only growing into bigger lies and deceits as the romantic relationship progresses
You are going down a path but they have let you go down it alone but haven't told you yet until they pull the safety net under your feet with nothing beneath
It feels very one-sided and every action is for themselves - even the ones that look nice on the surface have a nasty intent eg. to lure you into going into a relationship with them so you can't get out
You are being made to feel humiliated and criticised for the smallest things as they're constantly judgemental in a negative way and are only projecting outwards of themselves but you feel drained from this constantly happening
They apologise once a huge drama has been made out to convince you that they have never done anything wrong/hurt/tried to destroy you in some way but the inner voice in you tells you that their apology is insincere, hollow and empty i.e. they don’t mean it at all.
You feel controlled but then when you call out their abusive behaviour, they cover it up or hide it with lies to what the truth is that they are doing to you eg. Throwing your belongings into the bin and making excuses such as 'you didn't like the smell of the candle' when you ask them not to do that to your belongings or 'it's a bit late to go out' when you want to leave the house to go out and socialise/meet other people but they can do things without notifying you or even telling you when it involves you
What to do next: Read the book: The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Recognising the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse// Debbie Mirza