My Bumble Date was STILL ‘Co-working’ with his ‘Ex’ at His Place
Dating Apps are OUT and In-Person meets are in for dating from 2025 onwards. And Gen Z are right to decline these apps for more natural way of meeting in person, it’s happened for generations.
3 years AFTER my previous article, my view is still the same – DATING APPS ARE OVER. I even tried the paid features of 17.99 for a week and it’s not worth it.
I should have known not to date another Robert, from Groningen. This guy I met on Bumble. Now this is at a time where the new CEO ruined the concept that it was founded on - women message first. She spearheaded the app to have some prompts or something along those lines where the guy could message first. I did not get involved with this aspect as the whole point of this app was that we, as women, message first.
And so, I did message this guy first. We had a nice chat, kind of surface level niceness as in I didn’t feel any sincere kindness. He kept saying he did dad jokes but not once did I get a taste of them on the app. He definitely did them in person and even messaged later on in WhatsApp to goad me into saying that I actually love them. I did not and the comments/facts he made were more interesting to me. (Well, the majority compared to his dad jokes!) He said he worked for IBM and that he was single and divorced. I knew someone closely who worked for another financial banking firm called Credit Suisse and seeing how she was as a person deeper, it wasn’t a surprise a few years later the scandals and management errors led to the loss of confidence of its clients, investors and the markets. The resulting high level of withdrawals of client funds led to the risk of immediate insolvency in mid-March 2023. (source: Finma).
It was all going well until suddenly Bumble had logged me out of my account. I was very curious and kind of afraid that I could not message Robert any longer but luckily, I had saved his number he sent me as we had planned a date or he would have arrived and then he would have thought I had stood him up. He lived like 2 hours away but because he was driving to a nearby city for work, he could also stop by where I was.
However, he suddenly called around the time of the date and said he was stopping somewhere and made some excuses. He just wasn’t sure now as to this being a ‘catfish’ as he had been catfished before and he couldn’t see my profile. I called him and he then decided to come…30 minutes after the date was scheduled. And his definition of being catfished is not catfish. He was just stood up before and could have happened as I said before. This was the only date I had planned where I went all out with dress and high heels. This is why I condone and recommend only going out in casualwear for early dating. You don’t need to prep all hoo-ha for early dating. You need to see each other as you are, as in being similar to what you would wear on a day-to-day basis and a lot less make-up than when you’re going out out.
I saw him. And the first thing I wanted to do was turn around and leave. He apparently wanted to kiss me throughout the date.
He kept saying he wanted kids and his ex also wanted this. He said they both wanted them before they got married. He then told me she didn’t want kids and especially not during Covid. For a woman, the most vulnerable time is when a baby is conceived to 2 years old. Covid would have been a good time to have a baby when both parents are around and for the majority of the time to raise the bubba during such a growth period. He kept self-protecting or trying to hide that she could not, not have wanted kids with him. All I am going to say is he could be naïve and I was looking out for him that this could be the case. She got a house so if she never wanted kids with him, which while I was close to him by spending more time, could see why she wouldn’t – then she never needed to have kids and if anyone has seen MAFS AUSTRALIA season 12 this year, as Adrian didn’t want to continue with Awhina, the main reason was the hurdle that she had already had a kid with someone. And that is his prerogative to not have to be with a partner that has already had kids, this was his deal-breaker, this should have been flagged from the start then they wouldn’t have had to go through the turmoil. And so his ‘ex’ could also be with many more partners now, especially those she would want a kid with and more partners to pick from as an old (not age) male colleague was burdened by having to be responsible for someone else’s kids. Three of them! No wonder he’s tired, as a sales manager then having to provide and protect for 4 other people. And he never even felt valued and loved by her.
Also with MAFS, I watched a few episodes at his place and he was very dismissive and shaming me that I watched it with his tone of voice and his questioning to what I watched it for. Not once did I shame him, even with tone of voice about his collection of books like a Star Wars-Shakespeare mesh which made no sense but thought it was creative. Another female on MAFS this year is Jamie who is coupled with the lovely Dave. She mentions a red flag list and it was hilarious. Some of them being if the guy orders a filet-o-fish at McDonald’s or if he has a red car! And omg, yes this guy Robert had a red car. This guy was driving a red flag around AND I WENT INTO IT FOR 2 HOURS.
Then this guy calls me vindictive for bringing up the fact he didn’t show up to dinner by planning anything like he said he would and that he couldn’t be trusted. I could make things like him lying about being single slide but then I would be betraying my own emotions which no one should do especially towards someone who could be close to you as it will come out negatively in other ways.
However, the nasty side to him was shown when he was close and he kept subtly putting into my head things like ‘oh did you get a heart attack’ after I mentioned I thought I had lost a Bluetooth earpiece. It was not even from a playful place and I gave a death stare which made him stop. And guess what his best friend died of? That’s right. A HEART ATTACK. Now I thought it strange he had a big photo of his best friend in his living room but he then told me because he had died and was there to remember him. He said he had no idea what his friend died of. And when I mentioned it must have been such a sad time, he was so emotionless and indifferent when he spoke about his death of a friend of so many years. What a strange façade to have in your living room but not one that hasn’t been seen before where they hated the person but had shrines of them in their home for others to see. He was always fixated on being perceived as this nice and friendly guy. Emphasis on the word perception.
When I was at his place, he mentioned to me he had to work from home and that I should visit the city centre of this place. I really didn’t feel like it the next day and told him that but he kept pushing me to go. He felt very desperate that I should go. Then it was revealed to me that his ‘ex’ was coming over to also co-work with him and bring the cat over. I was utterly shocked that he said it is because he still cares for her so didn’t want her to see me. I was completely hurt that he actually was not single, that he was still in a relationship with his ‘ex’ who he still sees and shares a cat which she bought and he called a Slovakian name meaning fertility. Oh, the irony.
This was just like the time I had mentioned I needed a place to live as I hadn’t found somewhere yet but hadn’t actually tried as I should have as I found a rental in less than a week before in a major city which apparently was tough. He mentioned he didn’t want to ‘host’ which I found odd. This for me would be to see how we could live and his natural habits of each other. He was clean and slept at normal times to me so he would be an okay housemate.
But the lying, not being able to handle pressures, didn’t want responsibilities of extra loads eg. boyfriend duties or other. The lying that he was single was not acceptable and did not see him as my baby daddy but he was already vetted by his ex of 10 years (later being told!) of which he said he was single for (at first) 9 months then later this being changed to 1 year in the same sentence. Not sure how he could get confused with that 3 month difference in his life.
Oh wait, that’s right, it’s because he was lying about it. He WAS NOT SINGLE. Bumble should have taken accountability to showcase this aspect. How? That’s their job to figure out.
Also I complained about there now being threesomes on there and didn’t think this appropriate for the app – also when I got logged out of the app by them. Well, that doesn’t matter, as I won’t ever be joining again and that also shows from the data in articles of the decline of the app’s numbers as well as it being said through the grapevine much more now.
I was jokingly mentioning that he could come visit to have a dinner and that we went through some intense things. He mentioned coming to meet me again to have some dinner. I deeply didn’t want this. He said did I think he was bluffing that he would come. I said I gave him my trust and that was gone now so was not taking what he said seriously. So this is where he would show me something different but he didn’t. I was glad.
I mentioned this to him. He couldn’t handle that he didn’t make plans even though he had said he would come to have dinner. He just brushed it off and mentioned the days that he drove to the nearby city and when he would next week. I mentioned he proved he couldn’t be trusted again. And when I mentioned about some times of hardship to him, he only kept saying karma instead of showing compassion. So I mentioned that karma came to him when he married someone who didn’t want kids but told him that she did. She got the cow, why would she need the milk now from him?
COW = HOUSE.
MILK = ANY WANTS OF HIS THAT WOULD BE EXTRA WORK FOR HER THAT SHE DIDN’T WANT.
I hadn’t had sex with anyone for 3 years and this was the guy I slept with. All I can say is, I am thankful I didn’t see his face during it. There was no deep soul connection. And thank goodness I never married him. I am thankful I can move on from this with a clean slate from this. I am thankful for breathing another day to also share this as it was painful to realise, he was not single. I am thankful to be able to trust my inner compass and voice ALL THE TIME from now.
P.S. tall guy (2m) does not mean big dick (I will be doing a STI check after this and whether he will even have a small dick left…to be continued)
oh my!